Living with Uncertainty
If there’s one thing the human brain resists, it’s uncertainty, the unknown, or ambiguity. We’re wired for predictability and control. From our earliest primitive days, we’ve survived by staying alert to threats and planning ahead; however, life is uncertain. Whether it’s a health diagnosis, becoming a new parent, getting a divorce, dealing with a new boss, finding a job, or guessing whether your new relationship will last past a few months, the not-knowing can be exhausting.
Our brains want to protect us by analyzing everything—our surroundings, memories, and past mistakes—and drawing conclusions to feel safer. But when the information is questionable or the path unclear, our brains will fill in the gaps with often made-up worst-case assumptions, causing worry, anxiety, and even depression.
That’s a hard way to live, yet it’s common. Uncertainty activates our inner critic, increases fear of failure, and triggers survival responses like fight (stress and anxiety), flight (avoidance and procrastination), and freeze (burnout and depression). Fortunately, the brain can learn skills and techniques to help.
Calm the nervous system and build resilience in the face of uncertainty.
I teach my clients mindfulness-based techniques to ease tension and stress, manage anxiety, build self-awareness, and focus attention.
Mindfulness meditation: A mental training process that teaches you to focus on the present moment and accept your thoughts and feelings without judging them. This is a basic definition. I offer guided meditations on my Resource page. A daily practice will help build resilience.
Mindful Observation: Notice feelings of doubt or worry without judging them as bad or dangerous.
*Radical Acceptance: Acknowledge reality as it is right now instead of fighting facts you cannot change.
The “STOP” skill: Stop what you are doing, take a step back, observe your reaction, and proceed with intention.
Check the Facts: Separate your anxious assumptions and predictions of failure from actual, verified data, or ask these two simple questions: Is this true? How do I know it is true?”
Practical Exercises
- Sensory Grounding: Feel your feet flat on the floor, touch a stable surface, or look around the room to name objects of a specific color.
- Paced Breathing: Inhale slowly through your nose for 4 seconds, hold for a few seconds, and exhale smoothly over 6 to 8 seconds.
- Control Sorting: Write down a list on paper, dividing it into things you can control versus things you cannot control, then direct your energy to the controllable side.
- Feet to the ground: Find a space big enough to put your bare feet on the earth. Focus on the contact and sensations between your feet and the grass or soil. Breathe and notice what you feel not only in your feet, but in your entire body. Do this daily for 10 to 15 minutes, or as needed.
*Radical acceptance is a distress tolerance skill from Dialectical Behavior Therapy that means completely accepting reality as it is without judgment or resistance
Please feel free to contact me at sherry@sherryrhynard.com with any questions, comments, or if you’re interested in learning more.
***
